Sunday, March 2, 2008

I just want a drink of water

"I just want a drink of water!" Do you ever find yourself saying that in your head? Hopefully you don't, with any luck you aren't like me with this puking problem. I sit here tonight and my one constant thought is, "I just want a drink of water." Of course knowing the events of the day that little voice in my head says, "your gonna puke!" You would think it would prevent me from getting a drink of water but to be so thirsty and not be able to drink all day, you keep trying because your body needs it so bad.

This is how my day goes with this one constant in my life. I can tell you the only satisfaction I've had all day is the time that I fell asleep after taking my pain medicine my doctor gave me....it is also the only time that I've managed to keep anything down today. I want to keep telling myself there's another reason for the puking....first I'd tell myself I overate but heck I'm not hardly eating so theres no way to overeat. Then I tell myself that what I ate I was not ready for but truth be told I stick with what I know I can eat so that shouldn't be a problem. Then finally I blame it on the liquid antibiotics because it is full of sugar and bound to make me dump but I quit taking that 2 days ago so what's my excuse? I must still have a stricture! Today I threw up tomato soup...soup for heaven's sake! I'm so frustrated and I'm thristy but I don't want to go to the hospital to get my tank topped off, I'm sick of hospitals. Friday I had to have lithotripsy down to break up a big kidney stone and thats about as much time that I care to spend in the hospital right now!

You know what kills me? I take one sip of water but throw up 2 cups of liquids...how does that happen? I haven't kept down 2 cups of liquid today so go figure. I will never regret my decision to have this surgery but I just wish we could get this little thing taken care of. Has anyone else reading this had a stricture before? How long did it take before it was fixed and you didn't throw up anymore? I use to hate throwing up....I mean I'd turn purple holding it in before I'd ever throw up but now I just open my mouth and out it comes....isn't that strange? On a good note I have lost a total of 64 lbs. now so I'm doing good! 64 lbs. is alot of weight to lose...and yep I got bat wings and it ain't pretty but I didn't do this to be pretty but to be healthy and that I am slowly becoming. Well I guess I am just ranting so I will close for now. Please talk back to me people I wanna hear your voice:) Take care.

Kellie

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