"WLS Rant" - An Interesting Youtube Video You May Want To Weigh In On

I am a member of Youtube where I share videos with many other wls patients and those waiting to have surgery. This is a wonderful forum to share your journey. Recently I was watching a video called, "WLS Rant" and felt that this would be something that might be of interest to all who are thinking about and have had this surgery. The poster of the video "WLS Rant", AprilDawn77 is "ranting" about how she feels some people get wls for "the easy way out" and others do so but still eat all the wrong things. While her rant may have been meant in a sincere form she comes off to me as being a former "fatty" who now condemns those who have had the surgery like her. Below is the video and then following that is my response to her personally. Click the READ MORE link underneath this video to read the whole story and comment.

Here is the video:



Dear AprilDawn77,

I had planned to make a video in response but felt that instead I would put it here in a forum for all to see and respond to. Please know first that this is just purely my opinion just as you have yours and I am not attacking you personally because I do believe that deep down you had a sincere concern when making your video. I feel that your view of others who have had wls is somehow misguided by what you perceive as supporting your peers. The below comments are my response to you while I watched your video.

Near the beginning of your video you stated that "change didn't happen!" following these people’s wls. I have to disagree with your statement completely because change doesn't happen overnight & this tool is used to allow the person the time to change their mindset. Maybe you were not an "addict" but it doesn't happen overnight. Some drug addicts are prescribed Methadone by doctors to aid them in getting clean. Methadone is a drug but yet because drug addicts need time to change their habits doctors feel this alternative drug will help them until they have gotten clean. So you see even drug addicts don’t quit overnight. I am sure that during your time of “drying out” you may have slipped up at some point but even if you didn’t doesn’t matter some people’s will power may not have been as strong as yours. If you never cheated I commend you for that but I don’t agree that just because you didn’t that you should belittle those who are still learning to change their habits.

I was addicted to food, I was also a very sick and an unhealthy person who would have died without this surgery. I wake up everyday thinking of food, I get bored and look in the fridge, I sit in front of the computer wanting to eat while I type...old habits die hard BUT it doesn't mean that I go in search of comfort food, no I struggle but now with the knowledge that this tool has given my brain a chance to change my mindset with hopes that one day I will no longer be an addict. Not everyone goes home from the hospital with no desire to eat and if you did your journey was so much more simpler than others. Had it been that you went home having a desire to eat you might not be sitting here today publicly condemning what you yourself once was so easily. Personally, I get sick almost everyday and throw up....it has gotten to the point in the last couple of weeks that I was so hungry and so sick that I was happy to just eat ANYTHING to contend with my stomach. If it wasn't for sugar free popsicles I'd probably be dead from the dehydration that I suffer with.....why do I eat them? Because my doctor said, "try popsicles because your liquid will go in much slower that way" and because I can't afford to keep going to the hospital to get pumped full of liquids. Even water hurts my stomach sometimes....is it something I did, nope I had a stricture and probably still do since I am still throwing up 2 months post op. Of course I sound as if I am making excuses for myself but I am not because though I struggle with addiction I know that if I cannot even hold water down at times, pizza isn't going to be my friend either not even the toppings. I will admit to you though and say, yeah I've had something that maybe I shouldn't have & either I paid for it or at least I got something in my stomach that actually stayed down and with no nutrition staying in my body at least there was something there. Is it a habit? Heck no, the only habit I do have right now is that at some point almost every day I will puke. I'm not complaining though because the truth is that regardless I am healthier now then I was just a couple months ago. I also don't tell people that they shouldn't have this surgery because of what I have been through because it saved me and it can and will help countless other people get healthier and live longer.

You ARE a different girl & all of the people you have condemned are different too... didn't you learn that not only your own bad habits put you in the body you were forced to have cut on in order to change it but that the condemnation of others lowered your self esteem to a point where you had no faith or control in yourself? We can look at others and get frustrated all day long at the food they put in their mouths but regardless we will always be, "that person who had to have surgery to get skinny!" Yeah, lets just think about that for a minute....hmmmm “You mean, you had to have surgery because you just couldn't close your mouth and lose weight????” “Why didn't you just eat this way before and save yourself all the trouble of going through a surgery that could have killed you?????” “If people would just get up off their lazy butts and exercise they wouldn't be fat“ ..... Does this sound familiar? Its horrible that people view us this way and people often say these very things to us so we are no different than those that are still struggling, we should be thankful instead and give back by not judging but instead helping others.

You say, "let the time change your decisions" but yet your comments are clear that you don't think these people need time but an immediate change after surgery. The only change after surgery is your body, the rest comes when your mind learns how to adjust to how it should have worked to begin with. The sad thing is when someone who is suppose to be in their "corner" goes public about condemning them you have just knocked them down that much further & you have become exactly the same people who once judged you & called you fat. It is so easy for us to sit here having had the surgery to look at those who are still struggling with food and condemn them because we cannot eat like we once did. I too am guilty of this, I had the surgery but my husband didn't & he can't stick to his diet for nothing but should I be condemning him? No! Just because I had surgery & I can now give up the same foods that he still struggles with doesn't give me the right to judge him just like it doesn't give anyone the right to judge anyone else. In fact do you know that now that I am on the other side of the bench he is self conscious and to him I am no longer like him but every word I say & every look I give him makes him feel as though I am now condemning him. How can I be so judgmental? Because I can't eat like that anymore but yet I have commented on his lack of diet efforts and I really just need to keep my mouth shut and support him...I am guilty of the same thing you are but I have a new mindset that needs some adjustment as well. Of course you are not talking about pre-op people though I am sure you probably are more judgmental towards them now too because it is so easy for us to judge others from our new point of view.

Addiction is addiction, food addicts go to the support meetings seeking support just like drug addicts or alcoholics do and they need to be lifted up, they need to learn to believe in themselves that, "Yes, they can do this" not, "dude your a failure!" The reason those people keep coming to the support group is because they desire change and support, not, "if it were me, I'd be too embarrassed to go" - omg let's just kick them while their down! Maybe you should be saying, "you know, I understand your struggling so what can I do to help? Can we walk together? Or Can I help you by being there for you in whatever way you need me?"

I apologize for this in your face commentary I am not trying to sound mean to you or offensive or anything like that but I am trying to show you why your comments were not only hurtful but were wrong. You have such an advantage here to show your knowledge for what you have learned that I am sure you could really help all us of who are not where you are now but leave the negative at home and you will touch a lot more people. The parts of your video that were helpful were honest and sincere and I see that you just want people to see that this tool won't last forever, you are trying to make a plea on behalf of someone else's health I just feel you went about it wrong. We listen to fat jokes, and see fat videos making fun of us fatty’s all day long, we go to work and don’t get the jobs or raises we are experienced enough for because of our weight, people snicker behind our backs in public, we order our food and are embarrassed when we go to sit in a booth only to find that we no longer fit, we walk down the street to hear some car horn blaring and some idiot yelling, “hey fat a$$‘ or some other cruel name, and we cry at night because some people think we are not even worthy of love is that not enough to deal with already? If those of us who have had weight loss surgery don’t support those who haven’t or who have had it who will? Is it fair to beat them down when you , yourself were more than likely blessed to have the support of your peers and if you weren’t then even more reason to want to support someone who is going through this. Just a final thought and I will shut up….did it ever occur to you that the person or persons who lost all there weight and then gained it back at the support group you attend was there because that group was all they had? Maybe there is no one who cared about them or their life had fallen apart, their relationship had begun to unravel, and their family have become totally unsupportive or always been unsupportive to them but at the SUPPORT group they felt secure and supported and just maybe they would have renewed faith after hearing someone else’s struggle and will start over again. Maybe after listening to your video they will be “too embarrassed to come back” like you suggested you would be…how’s that for support?

Sincerely,

Kellie aka Bakersbazaar

If you would like to comment on this response please do so here so that others can read what you have to say and this goes for anyone reading this. If you would like to post a video response please go to Youtube upload the video and then send me the embedded html and then email that to me and I will gladly post your video response here. My email link is located at the bottom of this post or you can click on the comment link below the post border after the advertisement.

Thank you all for taking the time to read and respond to this message.

THE STORY DEEPENS.........

As I was commenting back to those of you who have so far responded to this on youtube I noticed that AprilDawn77 had made a response to Beautifulcurves so I watch the video. I have to say first that first impressions are everything as they say but first impressions are not always the true nature of the character. AprilDawn77 came across in this video as so caring and loving and I could totally see that she genuinely cared about helping others. So let me clarify that I was not totally knocking her but just defending those people who might not stand up for themselves. And to AprilDawn77 I stand corrected because maybe you are like me and sometimes you open your mouth and the wrong thing just happens to come out and it doesn't sound at all like you meant it too. So in all fairness I am posting this next video here so you all can judge for yourselves and see two of the many sides of one person. Peace out!



In keeping with this whole thing that seems to have turned into a huge rant here is more videos and responses. Because of bandwidth I need to just put the links here:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VvJbrxqt1mk

BeautifulCurves response to AprilDawn77

DeniseNJ37's response to AprilDawn77

AprilDawn77's response to DeniseNJ37

DeniseNJ37 We all are different and an apology
DeniseNJ37

BeautifulCurves response to AprilDawn77

This girl always has a wonderful spirit and has helped me alot with her wonderful videos.
MassageGoddess response to AprilDawn77

AprilDawn77 - Her heart is in the right place....

AprilDawn77



I did save the last 2 best videos for last which I will show. This one is by iltommyd in response to AprilDawn77 as well as everyone else who commented I believe. In his video he is very insightful and eloquent with his wording, he said all the right things and said it better than I had tried to up above he is someone we all can learn from so here it is:





This final one is by MissKrispy who I found to be a beautiful, sincere person I loved her video and will probably show her videos on here alot because she appears to be a true supporter. This might have to be my very first "Loser's Club inductee" and I'm sure you will agree when you watch her video!